She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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