I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My vagina is very pro this idea
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