Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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