I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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