I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
