yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
