yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
