i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
