my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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