Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
