Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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