I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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