He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
