Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
