Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
