Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
