I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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