No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
