just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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