youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
