haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize