Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
