My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
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Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
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We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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