I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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