thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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