The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
