he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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