just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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