she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
