Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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