You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
