His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
