Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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