Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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