are you still at the devil's house?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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