He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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