so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
