you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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