I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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