Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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