At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
