God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Sext me about skeletons
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
