nut hugger
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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