I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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