Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
pray to the hookup gods
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
