somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
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Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
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You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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