no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
