do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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