I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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