"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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