Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
