i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
