if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
