Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
