Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
