im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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