She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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