Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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