this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
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Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just wanna be euthanized
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours