How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
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i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.