Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people

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  (541): I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people http://tfl.nu/4uzt
  Replies (16) Good night (3449) Bad night (820)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry

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  (612): if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry http://tfl.nu/j4wi
  Replies (20) Good night (619) Bad night (2819)
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  (310): View more from California

  Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.

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  (310): Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you. http://tfl.nu/vvmp
  Replies (21) Good night (6024) Bad night (1468)
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  (831): View more from California

  she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?

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  (831): she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/99g1
  Replies (80) Good night (14344) Bad night (2429)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city

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  (407): I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city http://tfl.nu/5mtu
  Replies (32) Good night (6115) Bad night (980)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.

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  (330): Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered. http://tfl.nu/lz30
  Replies (8) Good night (514) Bad night (1229)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.

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  (519): No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him. http://tfl.nu/boov
  Replies (12) Good night (1798) Bad night (748)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?

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  (406): Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver? http://tfl.nu/hdgc
  Replies (6) Good night (509) Bad night (2089)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february

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  (732): if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february http://tfl.nu/tz00
  Replies (2) Good night (1181) Bad night (563)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.

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  (304): My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger. http://tfl.nu/dtz4
  Replies (5) Good night (1941) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life

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  (781): U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life http://tfl.nu/mfnn
  Replies (2) Good night (478) Bad night (746)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.

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  (985): My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong. http://tfl.nu/gho7
  Replies (7) Good night (1147) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!

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  (817): She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!! http://tfl.nu/esz2
  Replies (4) Good night (1336) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.

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  (814): He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me. http://tfl.nu/md2z
  Replies (2) Good night (1280) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!

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  (207): But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on! http://tfl.nu/iftt
  Replies (11) Good night (356) Bad night (841)

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