Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
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We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
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I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.