Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie

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  (513): This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie http://tfl.nu/0ykf
  Replies (30) Good night (4118) Bad night (733)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.

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  (860): Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water. http://tfl.nu/9vgl
  Replies (6) Good night (4566) Bad night (1116)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am

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  (506): I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am http://tfl.nu/t74t
  Replies (14) Good night (1716) Bad night (2894)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned

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  (928): Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned http://tfl.nu/e99u
  Replies (12) Good night (1916) Bad night (1348)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too

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  (412): apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too http://tfl.nu/j3jp
  Replies (10) Good night (3153) Bad night (1070)
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  (949): View more from California

  He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.

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  (949): He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/d65z
  Replies (18) Good night (3147) Bad night (1169)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.

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  (314): I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads. http://tfl.nu/vfmt
  Replies (6) Good night (2765) Bad night (889)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.

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  (217): Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not. http://tfl.nu/3f1l
  Replies (5) Good night (1960) Bad night (747)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.

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  (312): Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on. http://tfl.nu/knov
  Replies (3) Good night (1375) Bad night (654)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.

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  (512): I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again. http://tfl.nu/arot
  Replies (5) Good night (877) Bad night (2200)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.

  (813): View more from Florida

  You always make things weird.

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  (863): Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower. (813): You always make things weird. http://tfl.nu/1vvg
  Replies (7) Good night (1227) Bad night (443)
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  (916): View more from California

  There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE

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  (916): There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE http://tfl.nu/puex
  Replies (2) Good night (828) Bad night (418)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.

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  (301): The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces. http://tfl.nu/0f9r
  Replies (0) Good night (604) Bad night (444)
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  (315): View more from New York

  turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes

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  (315): turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes http://tfl.nu/o917
  Replies (1) Good night (927) Bad night (331)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?

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  (563): The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what? http://tfl.nu/tq85
  Replies (1) Good night (304) Bad night (206)

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