The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
