i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
jump out the window naked night went bad
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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