love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
