i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize