I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
