I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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