You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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